Jan 5, 2014

Beauty Marks

|| Me and DC at nine months pregnant ||

When I was pregnant, I felt out of control to all the changes that were going on within me and my body. Post pregnancy, I looked in the mirror and was horrified by my own reflection. Beyond what I thought beauty was, and past the point of repair. To me, the damage was done, and it was here to stay.

But, the truth is I gained and lost over 50 pounds. Now, looking in the mirror the extra skin that I wear on my stomach, reminds me that once, not too long ago, I carried my son in me. I carried his heart in mine.  The stretch marks I have in every direction from my breasts to my calves, show that for him I was stretched far beyond my limits, and still I didn't break. My wide set hips, they let me know that I am strong and empowered. I can bare through any amount of pain, and find the strength physically and emotionally to endure all things.

My body will never be how it once was. I'm not flawless, if anything my skin is permanently etched with the marks of labor and carrying a child. Trace my stretch marks on my tum, to the very belly button that linked me to my mother, and know that I too have shared that special connection with my small babe.

The world is so superficial (especially now), and it is so easy to forget what real beauty is. I have often fallen victim to being judgmental and superficial towards myself. Post pregnancy, I said things to myself that I wouldn't dare say to anyone else. I was bullying myself, after accomplishing the biggest dream I have had. So, I decided to let go of the world's definition of beauty, and create my own, like I talked about here. I am beautiful in my own way, and becoming a mother, really pushed me to realize that such beauty is in the soul, not on the skin.

I want to teach my son that these marks are beautiful, and that they are how I made him. Contrary to popular belief, he did not suck the beauty out of me, rather made me more beautiful, especially in the eyes of his father. I am honored that my husband tells me daily how beautiful I am, regardless of my low self-esteem protests. He knows all that I endured to create and birth our son, and tells me how much more beautiful I am because such a miracle and blessing has occurred.

One day, when my son reaches up and grabs that pouch of skin, or points to my stretch marks, and asks what they are, I will sit him on the counter, lower myself to his level, look him in the eyes (as I most likely tear up in epic proportion for that long awaited day), and tell him, "Son, these marks are how momma made you.  I call them my beauty marks."

#change
#newyearsresolutionpostone

5 comments:

  1. This was beautiful. I can't even remember how I happened upon your blog. But, I think it is sweet and tender and refreshing. Thank you :)

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    Replies
    1. @ Karen P,

      Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is so special to me, that this very sensitive & personal post, hit home with you. It means so much that you took the time to read it, and even more to me, that you left the sweetest note of encouragement.

      You are wonderful! Big hugs!

      xo,
      mrs measom

      Delete
  2. Thank you for this. I'm 5 weeks out until I'm due and there is so much going through my mind. I appreciate your honesty and whole hearted thoughts on this subject. I hope I feel just the way you do after all this is done.
    Tia Cunningham

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  3. What a beautiful way to discuss such a sensitive subject. I am currently 28 wks and often feel like my body is not my own. I hope to keep your words in mind over the next few months and remember to treat myself with a little more kindness as I look in the mirror! Happy to have stumbled across your blog today!

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  4. Thank you for this. So needed right now. Pregnancy does crazy things to our bodies and minds! But it is worth it.

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