* Please be tender hearted reading this*
Since lately, the Little Bean has decided to go a nap strike these past two weeks (due to teething & sore throat), this momma has had to learn to squeeze in as much as she can in his short naps. Since he started sleeping 30 minutes ago, I have washed and put away the dishes, cleaned out the bad leftovers in the fridge, taken the garbage out, popped the seeds out of two pomegranates, made myself a glass of ice water and pomegranate parfait for lunch, and have started blogging. A successful 30? Oh, I think so folks!
The other day, my son and I had this miraculous experience together. It is really personal, and makes me feel vulnerable in sharing, but I feel like someone out there reading this, needs to hear it. In so much pain from a sore throat and teething combo, last week my son had a crying episode. Nothing could soothe him, no matter how hard I tried, or what I did, he shirked in pain. After hours of no relief, just him sobbing, I started to feel something inside me melt away. The combination of being so helpless, and exhausting all the ways that once soothed him, but had no relief this time, I broke. I could feel my feelings shifting into a exhausted direction of almost a panic and a breakdown. I sat my little son down on my lap. Lowering my face to be level with him, I looked him straight into those perfect blue eyes. I started to cry, while he continued to shriek in pain. "Son," I said to him, in the tenderest / humblest voice I have ever had, "momma doesn't know what to do, and I am trying the very best that I can to help you, but momma needs you to stop crying. I am begging you, son. I will hold you close, and nurse you, and I will not put you down, but I need you to listen. . . to hear me." After hours of crying, he looked right at me, eye to eye. This time I was crying. He listened to every word, and then like magic, he stopped crying. I don't know if he understood every word I had spoken, if it was the tenderness or softness in my voice, or if he knew his momma was crying, but at that every moment, I knew he loved me back. He loved me enough to somehow hear my plead.
I'm crying writing this because I know of my Saviors love for me, but now I also have the greatest love from my own little boy. I love him so much, and he loves me, and that love is something beautiful.
|| I know that being patient is key with children. || I know that being humble through example is so very important, and I also know that catching myself before that switch goes off, before the breakdown, will allow me to always be the mother he deserves.
DC Measom, you are the light of my life. The love of my heart, and the most valuable piece of me I have. You make me better. I love you.