Dec 30, 2014

need you to love me too

photos by- lumi photo
thermal- similar // shoes- here // joggers- similar (under 20 bucks) // cardigan- similar (for under 25 bucks) // hat-  here

Do you ever feel like being a mom is the hardest thing you have ever done? I am having one of those weeks, or what seems to be a whole month.

There have been times where I literally cannot put him down the entire day. There have even been times where he screams and screams and I don't know what's hurting him. There have been so many different times where I feel like I am so inadequate for such a huge role. My flaws seem to be emphasized daily, and my faults seem so big they consume me.

I know that motherhood isn't supposed to be easy. I know that it is to help better me, but sometimes I just want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers in sheer shame. I feel like everything DC does is a direct reflection on me, and what I am teaching him. When he throws a tantrum I feel almost instant embarrassment. What have I done to show him such behavior? What can I do to fix it? Just an overwhelming sea of questions and reflections on my parenting methods that make something ugly and dark inside well up. 

I'm not sure if anyone can relate, or even if anyone understands, but this week I have been so bogged down by whatever is causing my son to be this unrecognizable version of himself that all I can say is "I love you son, and I need you to love me too."

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mrs measom


  1. I almost cry when i read this. So good to know i am not the only one. I am having a rough week with my oldest son (3 years old). Motherhood is the biggest challenge and the most rewarding the same time.

    1. Paola,

      You are not the only one, I am right here with you. It is so hard lately, and the struggle is real! It is sometimes so hard to is easy to forget what we mothers do has so much value and importance.

      Sending you all my love.

      xo times a million

  2. Hey there! I don't know you but happened upon this post and wanted you to know from one mom to another that you're doing much better than it feels! Gods mercy is new every morning and your little mans tantrums are normal and not a reflection of you! Just super normal stuff and I know just how you feel. So hard to separate our worth from our kids. It's a daily thing. Take it a day at a time and know that your worth is invaluable in Christ and give yourself the grace he has extended to you.easier said than done I know. Keep on.

    1. Lindsay,

      Thank you so much! What a beautiful message full of so much love and support and exactly what I needed during the crazy week. Thank you for saying I am not alone, what a sweet phrase. I needed that bad too!

      You are an amazing woman, and for all you have said especially about us being invaluable I am so indebted to you.

      xo and big hugs

  3. love the joggers! i was just looking at some from pac sun. so cute!


    1. Pocket of Blossoms,

      You should have grabbed them, they're amazing!

      xo & thank you!


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