Apr 29, 2020

Honesty About The Fear Of Failure In Motherhood

Before having kids, I was fearless. I didn't really think about failing, I just went for it. If a door was slammed in my face, then I looked for the nearest window and tried to open that, going round and round. I was always trying to get closer to my dreams.

Then, I had kids. It was my biggest dream, but I started to notice that soon I was questioning all my other aspirations. Were they valid anymore? 

I felt like because I wasn't in a class soaking up more education, or in the office climbing that corporate ladder and building my 401K, my brain was starting to atrophy. My skills and talents were dulling.

When I had kids I knew that they needed me. I knew I wanted to be there for them. I knew I didn't want anyone else raising them. They are my actual dreams and aspirations born out of me and into this world. 

I have so much faith in them. I see the greatness in them, and I want to fuel them. I will have my time, but right now, there is no greater thing that I will do than be here for them. 

Of course, I can have my side hustle. There are things I do for myself in the down time, but they're my legacy. And soon, they will be grown and living their lives, and I will look back and know I made the right choice. I chose them.

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