You can't agree with anyone 100% of the time, and that can sometimes be a little bit of a sour lemon in a marriage.
Your spouse is not only supposed to be your partner, but your best friend. When you and your best friend can't seem to agree, it can get emotional. Having a disagreement, or not being on the same page, can lead to some thoughts that can put an even bigger wedge between the two of you than your original disagreement.
Maybe you don't think they're listening to your side, or you think they're being stubborn. It could even be that you think they simply don't care about you or your feelings. When those thoughts creep in, shut them down. Remember, your best friend would never do anything intentional to hurt you. Just because they don't agree doesn't mean they're being selfish. Though we do have that natural desire to put ourselves first, we need to train ourselves to put our spouse and their feelings before our own. Selflessness goes such a long way, especially in marriage. It has to be cultivated in both you and your partner.
When a disagreement does arise, and you find you simply cannot give up on your side, try finding a compromise. Meet them in the middle. Listen to their side, and then share yours. Find the similarities between both. Using statements like, "I hear you" or " I totally understand" lets your partner know that although you might not be on the same page, you're paying attention and you're trying.
Disagreements left unsolved can arise later as a bigger problem, with a ton of underlying emotion left from the previous conversation(s). Make sure to try and find that middle ground, or if need be, try surrounding your feelings because sometimes some battles are simply too petty to carry on.
Yup, in a world of marriage.When disagreements and arguments happen, nobody really wins, just end up hurting each other.Like you said...meet in the middle.Great post!
ReplyDeleteApril
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