Balancing two kids

shoes- clark's // stockings- target // dress- mindy mae market // bag- ℅ pac a pod // watch- ℅ daniel wellington use the code "MEASOM15" to get 15% off!

*sidenote + totally unrelated to the bulk of this post- am i the only one who's baby hair grows with every pregnancy? it only grows during my pregnancies. it is the strangest thing, and i think i'm going to have to laser those bad boys buh-bye!

Having a newborn is kind of the craziest experience. It is comparable to pressing the fast forward button on your life. The days go flying by, but you look exactly the same (spit up, milk stains, topknot, leopard robe), and everything you do is sped up to the fastest possible speed. If you don't do things like pee and shower in a jiffy, your baby will give you a cry sesh you do not want to expereince, and the next morning when you look over at their perfect little sleeping face, they look a trillion times older. Time is a real thief my friends.

I feel the need to be shed some light on life as we know it, more so for me than for anything else. So, when we have our next baby, I can look back at this post and be reminded that everything doesn't have to be perfect. I want to let my future self know that it is okay to spend days in the same sweatpants + robe combo, and have the house be a mess. Just be present and catch every minute of that newborn baby stage you can.

I don't remember a lot of our first few months with DC, and quite honestly, I only seem to remember it being sheer bliss. That might be true and maybe it was, but I feel like we had our hard days then too, just with Sister it is way harder.

Maybe my time with DC was so fabulous in the newborn stage because I never had to put him down. I didn't need to and I never wanted to. Sure he would cry sometimes when I put him down so I could eat, or when he had a dirty diap, but other than that he was as sweet as a peach because he was the only one who needed me, and he literally had all of me. I gave myself up to him entirely.

My dear sweet girl wants and needs me just as much as DC did when he was born, but Mommy is torn.  I have to cook for, change, dress, and bathe our son. I have to wipe him, and cheer him on when he uses the potty. I have to hold, soothe, lull, change, and nurse our sweet babe. Between the two of them their needs are great, and there is only one of me. If one is being showered with my love, the other is being robbed. This love I have for them is a crazy thing. It is so strong it can make me feel so completely whole, yet so incredibly guilty.

The truth is, I have heard that the first three months of two are hard, but no one ever told me how. I am learning now that the hardest part for me is the guilt that creeps in. I don't have time. I don't have time to shower, or to clean. I don't have time to workout or to work. I don't have time to be there 100% for DC and 100% for Aida. I have to choose. I have to pick which will come first. Who needs me most? What needs to get done first? It is a juggling act, and holy shoot it's hard, but so damn full at the same friggin time!