Becoming complacent

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The other day, the Mister and I got to talking. (i feel like that is how some, if not all of my best posts, come about.) We were talking about the causes of divorce. Wondering why the numbers are so high, and even how many who are married aren't in happy marriages, or relationships for that matter.

After going over the obvious answers like cheating, or money, I stumbled on one answer in particular that really stuck with both my husband and I. Complacency.

Being with a partner day after day can causes a sense of comfort, which is wonderful, but sometimes it can cause us to forget that although we are comfortable with our partner we should never hit that point where we are just roommates. We are so busy in this world, busy with work, busy with staying fit, busy with friends, busy with family, busy with cooking, or cleaning, that it is more normal and accepted to be busy than it is to be taking it slow, or even taking life in.

What happens when we stop talking because we are too busy? The marriage or the relationship starts to shut down. When we are so busy with our routine and our to-do lists, we can forget that our love needs special attention. We need to keep writing notes and sticking them on the fridge. We need to send uplifting and happy texts to our loved one. We need to surprise them, and ultimately keep the relationship fresh. No matter how long you are with someone, the relationship is constantly evolving. Regardless of the effort you are or aren't putting in, as time passes two people begin to change. They want and feel different things, as life throws them different experiences everyday. Are we staying on top of those experiences? Are we talking about them? Even the most insignificant parts of our day can sometimes be the little things that make the biggest of changes. When your partner asks "how was your day," when you walk in from work, a simple "good, thanks. How was yours," isn't going to keep that fire burning. If you aren't willing to take the time to talk to your partner about things as simple as your day, will they want to talk to you about a challenge they are facing? When the simplest forms of conversation are brushed aside, will the desire to talk about their flaws or sufferings be validated?

I never want to be complacent in my marriage, and no one does, but it can happen. I need to be more aware of my conversation with my husband. I need to be more aware of him, and his feelings, dreams, ambitions, even his flaws. We are a team, and nagging or easy replies to an everyday conversation won't make anything better. Me being busy isn't an excuse to stop and take life in with my husband. I am making a change starting today, to work harder at my relationship because even though our marriage is strong, and full of love, I can do better. We can always do better because our love deserves the best.