When I had DC I felt so complete. It wasn’t hard going from no kids to 1 because I dreamed about that moment my whole life. My body bounced back because I was 21. I was thriving. He inspired me. Daily, blog posts just poured out of me. I was witty, insightful, and had so much energy.
When I had Aida Mae, I started to pull back from blogging. There was something about having a daughter that made me super protective. I quickly stopped sharing their faces on social media.
Then, when I had SJ, I was instantly exhausted. On top of being tired, I had 3 kids. That meant there was suddenly a lot more mom guilt, messes, and not a whole lot of time. Days instantly felt shorter, more stressful, and draining. I couldn’t sit down at a laptop to make jokes about a life I didn’t think was funny. Instead, life felt like it was crushing me. I was surviving not thriving. With no family around to lean on, I realized 3 kids was hands down the hardest number of children for me.
1 kid- I felt like a rockstar. 2 kids- I felt productive. 3 kids- I felt like I was a shell of myself. It humbled me.
I’m writing this more as an explanation to myself about what I am feeling, where I have been, and in the hopes that eventually I will feel restored and renewed when it comes to writing. I miss writing. It has always been my escape, and such a blessing for me to connect with you all on the struggles and beauties of motherhood.
So, here is to hoping you can connect to this post and as a promise to myself that I will be posting more regularly again. Mama needs this!
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