Jul 29, 2013

" I'm Calling it. Im Calling BS on the whole thing. "

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I have been searching the internet hoping fellow mommy bloggers had addressed this topic, but ultimately I found nothing. A little weary of writing about this myself because it is a very "touchy" subject, I feel like if you are going through a similar situation this post will be a relief to read. Here it is America..  or inter web; being pregnant is not my cup of tea.

You can tell me what you want, have your own opinions, but to me, based on both my previous size, and my previous weight I got b - i - g. Heavier in the thighs, heavier in the tum obviously, a rounder & fuller face, and most defiantly wider hips. My feet swelled, my hands swelled, and my lady lumps swelled too. Nothing fits. Not even my husbands shirts can cover the bottom of my full grown 40 week tum. Talk about weighing me down, both physically and mentally.

I would search one mommy blog to another, hoping some reliable & real moms would open up about their struggles with the weight gain, stretch marks,  and aches. I couldn't find a thing. What I did find on those momma blogs, were pictures of tons of food, their glowing selves, and post after post about everything but their last three months of being pregnant. I searched google endlessly for moms who talked about "stretch marks" and embracing them, when all I could find in its stead was talk about "how to prevent stretch marks," or how so many women never "got a single one the whole ten months" and then a tutorial on how they prevented them (which all those methods combined could not save me from my mommy stretch mark fate, believe me, I tried 'em all). I searched celebrity after pregnant celebrity on Pinterest and Google imagine, only to find that after two, count 'em two, pregnancies, Kourtney Kardashian never had one stretch mark to show for it on her baby making tum. I was beginning to feel like the crazy lady from, What to Expect When You are Expecting (the movie), who lost her mind on stage in front of random strangers, telling them in a loud shout "I am calling it! I am calling B/S on the whole thing.. " 

Why wasn't anyone acknowledging the fact that although pregnancy is a miracle, and a blessing, it is so incredibly hard, and for someone like me, the whole process was painful and crappy the beginning, the middle, and also at the end? Are we not allowed to be honest, because we are suppose to be grateful? Is it because the pain, the aches, the vomit, the blood, the emotional toll make us more grateful that is it over?

I have spoken to moms, and asked them about being pregnant, they all recount their own misery of pregnancy, saying "it was awful," "worst pain of my life," and I realized the only thing that is truly beautiful for all women alike about pregnancy, is the baby, and not at all the pregnancy. The moment that baby comes out, "it is all worth it," and that moment were you see your child, hold them, love on them, is the most beautiful moment a woman will ever experience, but the pregnancy, well that I couldn't care for less. That's like saying I like to throw up constantly, I adore being pricked with needles monthly, having a doctor "check me" is fun, and as a past time I like to have my who-ha stretched to a full 10 cm. Isn't that a dream? The truth is pregnancy is not as wonderful and glamourous as I thought, but the baby part, well that sure is beyond heavenly.

I will get my self esteem back, no matter what it takes, but until then, I will find my beauty in the face of my little beautiful baby.


  1. This is a great post. I'm so proud of you for being real. I do have to say, I didn't get stretch marks (I dont know if it was what I used, or just great luck) but I did H U G E. I don't have many photos of me from my last trimester, If I do, they're not very clear photos. I actually didn't even realize how huge I really was until I came across a photo of myself on T's phone. Swollen. everywhere. just... like the nutty professor. massive. I do recall having a pretty tough 1st trimester, as well as some complications in the second. I remember being miserable, but now a year later.. I remember them like a bad dream.. kind of faded.

    and although, i specifically remember thinking.. "GET THIS KID OUT OF ME" every day of the last month of my pregnancy.. I'd totally do it all over again. It's so true. When you get your baby in your arms, the last thing you're thinking about is what your weight is.

    By the time you're ready to get out and about with your little babe, you'll already have lost so much weight, and breastfeeding helps as well.
    But it's really true that after that little one comes, the things you're worried about now just aren't as important anymore. You've made a miracle.

  2. I LOATHED my body post baby. I was 19 and had the shock if my life when my body changed that much. I got stretch marks from my chest to my calves and they are big and noticeable. It made it easier to have more kids, but not to jump into a bikini and feel good about myself. After a while they fade and after a while I stopped caring what other people thought and decides to be proud of them. They are my battle wounds from creating life!! It feels like you will never get back to normal, but it does happen. I actually hoped that by going to the pool and beach bearing my lovely stretch marks that maybe some other mom who was embarrassed by their own may feel like they could be proud of their body. I don't know that anyone even notices or cares, but it helps me to have confidence again by thinking of them as my battle scars and reminds me just how incredible a woman's body is! Anyway, I hope you are recovering well and loving mommy hood! You looked fantastic a few weeks ago and I'm sure you look as gorgeous as ever today!!


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