Keeping faith in yourself

When your milk supply seems gone, don't give up.

We have got this whole milk thing under control (or at least i hope). So, I am going to recount the experience, as I usually do with most of my mommy trials.

It was honestly, the most stressful and discouraging of experiences. Waking up and not knowing the exact reason why my supply changed, and not being able to correct it immediately, was devastating. I tried all the tips everyone had given me. I prayed, I drank the teas, I filled myself to the brim with water, I ate the oatmeal, I pumped, I nursed (actually i did those last two so much that my breasts were sore). After two whole days of only getting less than half an ounce combined, finally mid-afternoon on the third day, it was back. (as one can imagine i sang praises the whole day, and numerous times when DC would feed). It was a miracle. One I will never forget, and always be grateful for.

Mentally I was a wreck. Crying, and stressing, like it was the end of the world, and honestly, it was in so many ways the end of mine. I treasure breastfeeding, I love that bond that we are able to have, and the thought, the idea, and the times where it seemed to be lost forever, was shattering. He was hungry, and Momma couldn't make him full. He would get distraught as no matter how much he would suckle, barely anything would come out. At some points, I hit sheer panic, and the idea of him drinking formula made me cringe. That thought on my mind, I told myself I wouldn't give up. That I would do everything I could, no matter how hard, or how discouraging, and that it would come back.

Ultimately, that was the key for me. I didn't let the two drops that would come out after 45 minutes of pumping tell me I was done. I knew that as long as a drop came out, I had to keep trying. For him, for us, for me. I stuck to it, and sure I cried mid-pump, but it was all worth it, when the milk supply was back, and he would nurse in easy comfort again. I didn't need a lactation consultant (mainly because i knew it was really up to me). I didn't need formula (because i worried about my babe suffering from constipation). I needed faith in my body and in myself. I learned that this was a test of faith in myself. After bad bashing my body and the way it looked postpartum, it was time I loved it, for what it had done, and what it is still doing. The most important thing of my life is being done by my body, and that was and is making my baby grow strong and healthy, while sharing a bond with him no one else will ever have.

I have been truly humbled in the deepest of ways, and love that this "test" was one that I barely passed, but at least passed it with triumph and gratitude. My words to any of you going through something similar is to have faith. Have faith in yourself, and in your body, but also have faith that if you cannot get your milk supply to return that there is a reason for all things, and "this too shall pass.

outfit i am wearing to the farmer's market this year (ft above) top here / nail polish here / tote here / self bronzer here / shoes here / jeans here / camera here / bronzer here / hat similar here

this is not a sponsored post.